John Barry

Jan 31st 2011, 12.20pm, somewhere in Texas...

Oh bollocks!! Just pulled over at a gas station for a toilet stop, turned my mobile on for the first time today and had three messages, my sister Jack, Anthony and Yvette, all bearers of the sad news that John Barry has just died of a heart attack. This is just terrible, this is awful...yea, bullshit.






Continuing our long drive through Texas, an American radio station is paying
tribute to the great man, playing whole suites from Octopussy, A view to a kill and many, many other amazing pieces from a very long career as a musical dramatist. No one else can make the hairs on the back of my neck stick up like he could. Gutted.

Texas

YOU ARE NOW LEAVING NEW MEXICO, LAND OF ENCHANTMENT




So, we are now leaving New Mexico, land of Enchantment; other than stop at a Taco Bell/Burger King, all we've done is drive through it, desperately trying to get as far away as we can from imminent snow storms which are promising to cover most of America in a blanket of white. Originally on course to Memphis, we flee towards Houston and New Orleans, which puts us on very large, endless roads. Right now it's Liz at the wheel, 90's music playing as she points out huge stars in the sky, which may well be of dalek origin. Aah! Crash Test Dummies, "Mmm, Mmmm, Mmmm, Mmmm", remember that?



Dalek Thay is still here with us, very much a part of our little trip, he currently holds position on the dashboard of this sexy, white Hyundai.
Tucson was a cute little town. We stopped off there yesterday and had the pleasure of visiting many stalls selling precious stones, African art and plaster of Paris replicas of Prehistoric bits; claws of Velociraptors, tooth of a Tyrannosaurus, a molar that once belonged to a Mammoth(real, not copy),skulls from a couple of early humans, Australopithecus and Homo Erectus and other body parts. Oskar bought a small treasure chest and some gems, which he loves.
We drove into the main part of the town, where there be a University and a very Bohemian vibe. I had a good rummage in a shop called Toxic records, which specialised in punk vinyl and c.d.s, t shirts, fanzines and badges. They even had a Rudimentary Peni button!




The real reason for stopping at Tucson, was to visit Saguaro National Park, as recommended by the lovely lady Ranger we met at a talk she was giving on Wildlife, when we visited The Grand Canyon. You know all those huge cacti you see in the cowboy films and stuff? They're all here, thousands of them, huge, great, beautiful things, some thirty, maybe forty feet tall, which makes most of them pretty old. They don't grow their first arm till they reach fifty and most here are well over two hundred years old.



We drove around an eight mile loop, surrounded by these fine specimens, the mountains in the distance, wildlife such as Roadrunners and ground squirrels crossing our paths and the bluest sky you've ever seen.
Stash and Oskar earned themselves another badge and certificate from Mister Ranger who quizzed them on what they'd seen and made them do that promise thing with their hands again.



Then began seven hours of driving...it's very dark now, time for a Motel 6 i
think, what say you Thay?

"hey boy, you a faggot?"

28th January 2011, exactly one month to Kronenbourg.



"My, you are a long way from home aren't you!" The lady at the till remarks, eyeing up my driving licence, I.D. for the purchase of several bottles of lager on my credit card, at the General store Oskar and I have stopped off at. We've just been and had our supper at one of the two diners in this small town somewhere off Route 66...proper America. Big, huge trucks. Big, huge men, with big huge ZZ Top beards. Bears. Grrrr...There's a stuffed mountain lion on a plinth and the head of a once beautiful Elk is hung on a wall. As we walked to here, we passed up another eating experience at the Roadkill Diner, again, huge macho men, bent over pool tables, with their massive cues silhouetted at the windows; "hey boy, you faggot?"




We're on the way to the Grand Canyon. We left Las Vegas around lunchtime after three nights spent at Circus,Circus, twenty seven floors up in a big room overlooking the Strip. Famed for having featured in '71 Bond movie, "Diamonds are Forever," it really couldn't have been better, despite many awful reviews to the contrary. We kept the curtains open the whole time we were there, the views becoming ever so pretty as all the lights came on of a night.
Yep, it was every bit as crazy and surreal as we'd imagined and then some. Insane roller coasters. One, at the top of a tower calling itself Stratosphere, gives you, the paying, a ride over the very edge, stopping to pull you back before it repeats and sends you once again down the short track to dangle you just short of your own glamorous suicide. It made my testicles disappear back into my body just watching it from all that way below. Liz and I went on a bloody huge one while someone looked after the kids. This one climbed up to the height of a tower next to it and then dropped and had us screaming like girls for the duration as it went through god knows how many three-sixty loops.




The Sirens of Treasure Island, now they were a highlight on the first night, dancing as they sung their poisonous songs, luring us to watch them on their tall ship. Miles of Casino, no clocks and no Exit signs...huge, white stretch limo's, there's even a replica Eiffel Tower, and where else would you pass a couple of Vegas era Elvis clones nipping out for a fag on the street.
We became tv critics for an hour, when invited to view the pilot of a new series yet to air, each of us with consoles, moving the dial more to the right if what we saw made us moist, to the left if bored. Actually, it was pretty good, though I noticed Oskar had turned his to zero when some snogging came on screen, during which he just sat with his arms folded, looking on in disgust.




So anyway, we left Vegas without gambling a single dime and headed for Hoover Dam, some forty minutes up the freeway.
Hoover Dam was built in the early thirties, employing thousands of people during the great depression, using some 2,480,000 cubic metres of concrete. If you or any of your friends or family would like to know more, you can look it up. But it is fucking impressive. We were taken down inside the dam itself and where we stood, you could feel the place vibrating from the sheer force of the water being redirected along huge pipes, fifty feet in diameter.

Today, our slumber was broken by Liz, who wanted us up and out for a trip to The Grand Canyon, pronto.
It's almost pointless trying to sum up this place in words...and none of our photos live up to it. It's a mile deep and god knows how many miles across.




Oskar and Stash enjoyed very much, eating the snow that decorated the trail we started to walk down for a bit. It was beautiful sunshine with snow on the ground.




But as I say, we only walked part of the trail as it was very icy and we none of us wanted to slip and fall that mile to our deaths.



The kids were sworn in by a Ranger, to promise to take care of the park and eat lots of broccoli, sprouts and other good stuff.




Elizabetty then insisted we take the car up to one of the other points to witness the sun setting on this great hole.

Diamonds are forever

...Vegas

Nastassja finds her legs

Monday 24th Jan 2011

So anyway, yesterday we stayed a night with Mike, Danny and Cy, stopping off at Venice Beach for some lunchtime fun. Having left my dinner jacket and hoodie at their house on the way out last Monday, we had the perfect excuse to drop by and spend a little more time with these slightly beautiful people.

Little Twilight fluffy clouds

...Sunday 23rd January, 7.44 a.m., Nastassja still tucked up in bed after a very late night spent watching the first two "Twilight" films, courtesy of HBO. A few weeks ago, she started reading the first of the books in the series, which she got for Christmas. Currently nearing the end of book three and very much looking forward to getting hold of the fourth today, when we call back in on Venice beach on the way to Vegas...and these ain't small reads...

Location:San Francisco

My eighth birthday!!

22nd January, 2011...

Yesterday was my eighth birthday! I woke up with all of my new toys...




I played with my new toys. I kept saying it was the best day ever.I got woken up with a fabulous cake with liquorice saying eight a very nice cake.  I loved my new toys.




This is our new cute toy puppies. By the way, the top I am wearing, Stash got me.
We went to a park with a slide that was twenty five feet tall! Me and Stash got so sweaty running around. Next, we went bowling!



The balls were much heavier and it was very hard. Me and Stash drawed, we had loads and loads and loads of fun! It was so slippery.  I took some birthday cake and we ate it after we did the bowling.




This is where I am pretending to be dead in the photo. Ten minutes later, we found a diner with motorbikes and cars inside and I had a hot dog!



It was so colourful in there.



This is me and my daddy falling asleep on this really boring tram ride back to our hotel. A guy I was sitting next to smelled like lager! Oh well, my birthday is over!

Location:San Francisco

In too deep

20th Jan 2011




What a day. Our Motel for the last couple of nights, lays on a small complimentary breakfast for it's guests in the reception area. Ahead of the ladies, Oskar (birthday tomorrow!) and his father begin helping themselves to coffee,apple juice and toast. A blonde lady walks in with a newspaper in her hand.
"Hi, good morning! Well I guess I slept better last night than I did previously, I was up at four yesterday, couldn't sleep, heck knows why, wanna read a section of my paper? You can go on right ahead, I'll read it after you".
The lady has been staying at the motel for a month now; "I had an altercation with someone!"
"Oh well", I say, "it could be worse!" What I mean, is that at least the Motel is very good and if I ever left my wife and kids and ended up in a bloody great big room with a huge Telly, en suite bathroom and a maid making up my bed and bringing me clean towels everyday, it wouldn't be so bad...
"Yea! Heck yea, could be a lot worse. I don't bother the maid every day though, I make my own bed, just call on 'em for the towels and toilet paper"...
She used to be a lifeguard on the sunny beaches in L A back in the day. She, like me, is also a 1964 baby. But, she didn't study, never went to college and now regrets it, doomed to live out her days waitressing (her words).
Anyway, yesterday, while I was looking after Oskar, who had a bad leg, Liz took Stash down to the harbour to see about booking a boat trip to see some Whales.




They came upon a bunch of Sea lions which hang around down there. So today after that breakfast, we packed up and dressed warmly for a ten o' clock boat journey out to sea and on the way, Nastassja took us to the spot at the end of one of the piers, to see these beautiful beasts. There are lots of them, along with some Harbour Seals and Sea Otters.




After a little trouble finding Bella, the boat we were taking, we finally met Christian, the very lucky owner of this fine sailing boat. Losing his job a couple of years ago, he decided to continue what he loved doing anyway, but now takes people out with him for a modest fee. So he now lives and works on Bella, runs it singlehandedly and that suits him fine.
We were joined by a couple and their three year old son, got the kids into their lifejackets and off we went.
Now, I am still sore from our Indonesian boat Hell experience, so when Christian tells Oskar there's a bit of a wind out there and it may get a little rough, I get a bit uncomfortable, but in fact everything is fine, there's a bit of rocking, but I think we cut our sea legs on that one so it's all good!




To be honest, I don't think Christian realised we were all there specifically to see Whales, I think he was just taking us out to see whatever we came across. However, once he got wind of what we really wanted, he extended the trip and took us out a little further. Just as we were all relaxing into our, ' isn't it lovely just being on a boat on the Ocean'...Christian let out a scream; "whales at one o'clock!!"
Sure enough, some way in the distance, you could see a bunch of Grey Whales blowing spouts of water. Every now and then a huge tail would appear and everyone would scream excitedly! Now, this was something else. I think at that point, just about everyone wanted to marry Christian, who was screaming, "isn't that just awesome!!"
There were maybe five Grey Whales together out there and they seemed to hang around for some ten minutes, after which, the boat was turned and we started back to Monterrey.




Just when we thought it couldn't get any better, more Grey Whales doing their beautiful thing, blowing spouts of sea into the air...today is a very, very special day.
Christian's trip comes with lots of hidden extras; he lifted Oskar onto the front of the boat where he rode out the last twenty minutes sitting there, trapped, but loving every minute of it. Muesli bars anyone? And the guy himself is just brilliant to be around, very rough, but a beauty!
We bid farewell and got back into the car, continuing on to San Francisco.




A guy who served us in a phoneshop in Hollywood, recommended our next stop.
Mystery Spot is a strange place indeed, where water runs uphill and gravity is...well, everything is just wrong. If it is all just an elaborate hoax, it's enough to make you feel just a little bit weird! Yes. It's up there in the hills of Santa Cruz...




Tomorrow, Oskar is going to be eight! We are at Hotel Whitcomb in San Francisco. A wonderful lady, Jan, our Consierge, recommends us a diner to eat at.
"It's real casual but they put it all into the food! Tell 'em Jan sent you!"
It was indeed casual and they do put it all into the food. And "in too deep" by Genesis was playing as we sat down...

Location:Monterrey, CA