Oskar's favourite blog

I've been to a hotel called bayview gardens, we could see stars and lots of boats from the balcony. It was so noisy because of the noisy boats and a big white and black tower that kept singing at 4 o'clock in the morning because they were calling for people to come and pray.




We went to this bar and I had a pizza and there were some kittens and a mum, they were very, very, very, very, very cute!




Then we got at tiny plane back to


Bali and went surfing.


But the man was a bad teacher,he only stayed with us ten minutes.


Today when we were having breakfast we saw some puppies


There were three teeny weeny ones and a couple of big ones that were really cute.


The end.

Location:Kuta beach - Bali

Komodo dragon boat trip - by Liz

After much deliberation we decided to take a four day boat trip rather than the 14 hour coach trip, we felt it would be more relaxing-drink some beer, catch some sun and do a bit of snorkelling. It started off well, we had the best people on our boat (12 passengers, 5 crew) and the one with the quietest engine. Although Nastassja did become vegetarian after we picked up live chickens on the way to the harbour. Within the first hour we had a school of dolphins following the boat, the kids drifted off to sleep with the gentle rocking of the waves and we were left up chatting and drinking beer - heaven!




Things took a sudden turn for the worse at about 3am, the waves were no longer gently rocking, we were being thrown about our communal bed, petrified - I dragged Bob and the kids onto the deck and put life jackets on us all.

The morning came and all was calm again, a swim in the crystal clear water and the beautiful coral reefs with hundreds of brightly coloured fish cheered us all up. After a few hours of snorkelling we set off on our longest journey of the trip 19 hours.




As it turned out - 19 hours of pure hell! I have never been so scared in my life, it started off fun, the waves kept crashing over the front of the boat and soaking us, the kids screamed for more and said it was like the best ever rollercoaster. A rollercoaster may be fun for 20 minutes but 19 hours on a flimsy wooden boat in the middle of a storm with giant waves was horrendous. My knuckles were white from clinging to the side of the boat, parts of which started falling off in the middle of the night; nearly all of the
passengers were throwing up or in tears (luckily our family seem to have been blessed with sailors stomachs).
The other boat that was on the trip said they watched our boat across the waves and it kept disappearing below a huge wave and they would hold
their breath till they saw us again. I am not exaggerating, this boat was not made to do a trip like that, it was terrible, at one point Oskar asked if we were going to die. Although when I suggested we sing a song to keep our spirits up I was not really impressed with Stash and Oskar's choice of song -'the day I died' by Just Jack.



The next morning came we awoke to calm and Mowie's (the chef) now familiar call of 'kopi, kopi, kopi!' ; Bob's new favourite drink of strong black Indonesian coffee (well 2nd favourite after Bintang beer). And as Mowie says, we washed the confusion from our heads with another amazing snorkel - unfortunately our waterproof camera is no longer waterproof, so soz no pics.

Dinner table:



Bed for 12:



Lovely crew:


Lovely passengers:

Location:Lombok to Flores

Komodo dragon boat trip part 2

Next stop Komodo dragon safari! As Mowie would say ' amazing, amazing, amazing!' we felt like we were in a David Attenborough documentary, buffalo, deer, eagles, giant fruit bats, monkeys, wild boar and lots and lots of Komodo dragons! They were every where, the rangers (one was 15yrs old!) who took us were armed with a stick (apparently you poke them in the eye? Although one ranger said the best thing to do is run! Although they are really safe...... they only killed one 10 year old boy in 2007 and the saliva in their mouths is deadly and can kill a buffalo, which we were lucky or unlucky enough to see, depending on your point of view.





Dragon by the cafe:




Dragon on her nest:




Dragon waiting for the buffalo to die:






Dragon going into the toilets:





Anyway all in all it was an adventure, and the kids don't seem phased at all- they in fact they say they loved it! Oskar has two new hero's (the young French guys who can do triple flips into the / fish / surf and ski), and stash fitted in very well with the girls sunbathing on the deck!
We are now chilling in a beautiful apartment overlooking the harbour- and we will not be going on any more boat trips!

Stash and her new best mate Maaetje

Location:Lombok to Flores

Dead calm

"Mister Bob,if you don't mind,when we finish I take you to beautiful cave,many stalagtites and stalagmites,good meeting place,many people go there".
The words of Christianos,17,on our bus journey to the boat on Monday,which already seems like a lifetime ago.Instead,post-4 day suicide boat stupidity,we've opted for a day doing Jack ship.
Yes,two of those nights aboard the good boat Mona Lisa,especially the 19 hour journey on day two,are up there with just about the scariest things i'v ever done.Ever.How the boat did not capsize I will never know,but hey,it didn't and when it was good it was wonderful!Met some great people,drank some good Bingtang with them,got sunburned on deck with them,ate lots of rice and noodles with them,we saw shiploads of dragons together,slept with each other under one roof for 3 nights and when it came to an end,we felt sad to be leaving them.
Bonus material,Arjen and Maaetje,another couple on the boat,turned out to be booked into the same hotel as us,so we took a bemo,had showers and went into town for dinner together.Later we were joined by two of the other guys,Frank and Oliver from France,which capped things off nicely.


Currently sat on our hotel balcony looking down on Labuan Bajo.You can see our boat from here.More of that call for prayer stuff colouring the air and a photocopied sign on the wall next to the edge of the balcony;Don't step on the roof(you'll fall through).


Oh man,a mature cheese and pickle sandwich on crusty white bread,please!!


We fly back to Bali tomorrow and after that we.........Zzzzzzzz

Location:Labuan bajo

EMERGENCY TEMPORAL SHIFT

Ms Lemmon,looking forward to that proms thing myself though not having much luck out here! Big fan of that stuff X X

Location:EARTH

C O M P R O M I S E

Oh!The shame!It's going to be a little while,the best part of a week in fact,before we can even attempt to post anything up on our blog.


We are about to embark on a 4 day boat trip to see some real live dragons.We'll be sleeping on deck and sharing with lots of other people we don't even know and who knows,they too may be dragons!


If we are not eaten alive by these dragons of Komodo and there are no severe punch ups on deck,we'll be flying back to Bali on Saturday 25th to continue putting unnecessary strain on our marriage.


Till then,lots of love to you and guess what Alfie,that camera wasn't so bloody
waterproof after all!
Now then,a Billtang...

Location:Windy cottages,Lombok

Lombok the giant fluffy gravy boy

Last sunset in Bali...


A four hour ferry to the island of Lombok and a WIFI cafe lunch.A lift by Maria to Sonya's home stay and I'm back in with Oskar again.A crouch and a bucket of water...now which hand do I use and where do I put my book?The call for prayer comes at 4 a.m so Oskar and I have another game of top trumps...
At breakfast we all talk about our dreams brought about by the light snooze.Stash dreamed of a helicopter ride with her cousins and snow and tinsel.Seems Elizabetty,our good Queen of Morden SM4 dreamed about my friend Murder.Mine involved my having an affair with a lady who had Disney tattoos on her upper back.Oskar drew a blank.Today I am dreaming of the best Doner Kebab in England.


We only booked two nights here at the palace of Sonya so we started walking North,eventually piling into a passing Bemo,a kind of cheap taxi service similar to the one we had in Bali.On our arrival at Windy cottages,we arranged our next two nights stay.The kids are ecstatic about this as it has a pool and for the first time since Chungking Mansions we will be as one together,the Leith family under one roof.


The beaches are beautiful and boast young men only too happy to offer their cockney impressions as an intro to their sales pitch.




Oskar got well taken in by some of the younger ones!Liz is all snorkelled up and ready to rock.Oh yea,Alfie,the camera is waterproof.

Location:Lombok

By Oskar & Nastassja super heroes

First we went to the Barong dance, it was about bad spirits and good spirits trying to defeat each other. This pirate said 'oh my god' because the wart hog had a big willy, but it turned out to be his tail, then they took out the wart hogs guts and it was gross, but they thought it was dead but they realised it was breathing and living. Then they got a huge stick and they were going to hit the warthog but instead hit the other pirate. It was funny but gross.

This is the bad spirited tiger that looks nothing like a tiger, it looks more like a load of cheese strings with some face features.




Next went to the batik market and we saw them making sarongs with a wooden loom. Then they drew pictures and waxed over the drawing so the dye doesn't go over the drawing. Then they scrape of the wax and draw more pictures and dye the cloth again. The gold silk cloths were very smooth and colourful, the purses were colourful too, and matched the cloths and flip-flops.




Next we went to the monkey forest which had millions of monkeys, when we walked through, Oskar was looking at some monkeys, when a monkey climbed on him and cuddled his hair and they another one climbed on and they wouldn't get off. Unfortunately a monkey pee'd on his back! When the monkeys finally got off we were strolling around and we saw a leader monkey with a ginger kitten that was only about 7 weeks old, he was gentle and caring for the kitten, and he kept yawning with his big teeth and everyone thought he was going to eat the cat, but he would never ever do that.

This is the monkey that pee'd on Oskar's back, stroked his hair and fell asleep while cuddling his head.






This is the cutest baby monkey ever! I wish I could take it home






This is the monkey with the kitten

Location:Barong dance and monkey forest

As sure as eggs is eggs ( aching mens feet)

Nong from Begbeg has been blessed with only one eye by his God. He is married, has a daughter who got married too young and has a grandson by her. He also has a moustache and has been our taxi for a couple of days. For really not very much money, he picks you up where you want, when you want and takes you off to somewhere on the island where he then hangs around until you want to go somewhere else or home. Today he took us to see some Balinese dance thing which was very impressive and very long.




Then onto a batik market (I love that stuff) where you could actually see it being made. I could have stayed all day! Then onto monkey forest. Think Woburn safari park, but instead of driving round with monkeys jumping on your car and tearing bits of aerial off, you walk around and they just jump on you, which I guess is potentially dangerous (Liz pointed this out as I proceeded to open a packet of crackers near the entrance). An Austrailian lady had her bag nicked and taken off into a tree where the monkey threw out all her soaps and precious oils, looking for something more tasty. Then about five minutes in, and there really are hundreds of these things just walking round, swinging and jumping and baring their large fangs, one of them jumped on Oskar, who completely froze.





For a good few minutes Oskar was pushed, prodded and checked for knits and even had his neck urinated on. Whilst this was going on Liz also became monkey taxi. Eventually they jumped off and I don't think any of it had been as much fun as it had seemed, Oskar being completely freaked out. But it will make a smashing film when he sees it. Speaking of which whilst looking only at the view finder of my flip mino movie camera and creating an interesting shot, I crashed down a flight of concrete steps and destroyed my ankle. That's gonna be fun to watch too.

Think we are saying farewell to this place soon, it really has been lovely. Bintong is the new Kronenbourg but miss them liquorice papers. Think we are having an easy one tomorrow but I'm sure we'll see Nong again before we go....



One last thing.Temple Cafe in Candi Dasa where we have been staying for the last week,will be sorely missed when we up and move our butts in the direction of some killer Komodo dragons tomorrow.Not wanting to sound like an ad,the setting is amazing,our room must be thirty yards from the sea,the wildlife is heavenly,the food is reasonably priced and excellent and the girls who work here are beautiful.

Location:Monkey forest

...what paradise is like

Location:Bali,Saturday lunchtime