Tenerife

Farewell Cambodia, we love you so very much!

Saturday 27th November, 7.51 am

Oh great. We're in bloody Tenerife.  Welcome to Laos, Don Tet in Si Phan Don, or Four Thousand Islands, if you like.
Actually, I like Tenerife. We had a week of bonding there in January 2000 when I first moved in with Liz and Khogan. It's just that everyone has been raving on about this place and it really is just a load of guesthouses, bars and eating places.
Maybe I'm missing Cambodia already. I want to see Simon and Rachel and Ellie in Siem Reap, lovely Libby, Dolla! Mr. Lady in Phnom Penh, Tina and Jack the elephant man in Mondulkiri. The Log lady!
On our last night in Sen Monorom, post elephant sanctuary fun, we met up with Mr. Tina and made for our fave Green house bar over the road from our hotel. It's actually home to bookings for the elephant thing too. Jack, from the project, was there briefly, so we said hi and bye to him and tucked into some Amok curry before returning to our hotel balcony with some beers and Tina in tow. Liz and the brood crashed so me and the Khmer kid sat up chatting and necking that Angkor. He asked me what kind of music I played so I showed him some Cardiacs on my iPod, which he enthused about, though I think it sent him over the edge( I've witnessed this after some Cardiacs before ) and he stumbled off home soon after.
Next morning, on the coach, we bumped into Tanya from Bananas restaurant, which was a blessing cos she then kindly booked us in and saw us to a hotel she was staying at in Krate, our next and final destination in Cambodia.

By 11.30 we were in a boat on the Mekong river, watching a very rare species of river dolphin. They're absolutely beautiful creatures, looking like a cross between a dolphin with a very small Dorsal fin and a whale, grey in Colour with a bulging head.
These lot were pretty much wiped out by Khmer Rouge who used them for target practice during their stinking reign, reducing numbers from thousands, to what locals guess now to be a mere seventy five. Nice one.
We spent the evening with Tanya ( who really does look like the Log Lady in Twin Peaks ) and her friend Joe, An Australian who runs this lovely Balcony Hotel.
Woke up late, said chow, boarded minibus, crossed border, got on big bus, took small boat to island, welcome to Don Tet.

A couple of days in and we discovered it wasn't just a load of guesthouses, bars and eating places (what's so bad about that anyway Bob you miserable twat), there was a lot to be found and fall in love with here.

A bike ride on the second day came to an untimely end when Nastassja became unwell...it didn't last too long,  just a bit off Colour really.  Oskar and I continued while Liz took her back to our cabin. We saw some buffalo taking a dip in the river and a large pink pig on a lead with a saggy tail. We also had a sneaky stop at a bar and Osk had a shake and a doughnut which he took a nibble out of and left.
On the way back we saw a newly born calf, just ten minutes old!
Next day, we all set off on bikes again and cycled over a bridge to a sister island, where we found a lovely waterfall and something of a beach, though you wouldn't want to try swimming in the water.
It cost us just nine dollars a night to stay in a cabin with shower, toilet, fan etc, but eating anywhere on the island proved to be very expensive, drinking too.

We stayed for three nights in the end before bidding farewell to all the cats, kittens, cows and pigs, to begin a journey to Pakse, some three hours away.

Now you're talking. Hotel cum Indian restaurant! That is excellent! Day two here and our driver, Boh, took us on a day out to a coffee farm and the most amazing waterfall I have ever seen or swam in. Ever! Liz and I stripped and plunged into the cold but crystal clear, pure, lovely water. When we finally pulled ourselves back onto the banks, we discovered the water had washed away quite a few years. Rejuvenated, we walked back up the many steps that had lead us there, our new twenty year old skin glistening in the warm sun. Both hardly recognized us. Then we were ready for it. Egg fried rice.

Today is December 1st. Halfway house.

Location:Earth

I PROMISE TO NEVER EVER RIDE AN ELEPHANT AGAIN!

Tuesday 23rd Nov - elephant trek
Originally we had planned to come to Sen Monorom (the mountainous jungle in north east Cambodia) to visit 'the elephant valley project' an elephant sanctuary, unfortunately we had not been able to get in contact with anyone from the project so had instead booked an elephant trek with our friend Tina, whom we had stayed with on Sunday night. We were to have two elephants and trek down to the waterfall, through the jungle.
We started our trek in a little village, Stash and me had an elephant with a Mahout (elephant driver) who was 13 years old and Bob and Osk had a Mahout who also happened to be on babysitting duty that day.

Although the elephants were amazing and the jungle was beautiful the whole experience was a bit distressing. Our mahout whacked the elephant with a stick every 5 minutes and Bob and Oskar's mahout gave the stick (with a rock attached to the end) to his baby who swung it around haphazardly like a 2 yr old would, hitting the elephant at random. So by the end of the trip we felt pretty awful and terribly guilty for putting the elephants through this. It was also the most uncomfortable ride ever and would have been much nicer and quicker to have just walk through the jungle on foot.

Wed 24th Nov - elephant valley project
Hooray - we had finally managed to arrange a trip out to the sanctuary! We were slightly dubious as we had heard various unpleasant stories about Jack - the guy who ran the project. He picked us up at 7am and we drove the 20 minutes journey into the jungle - by the time we got there Bob wanted to punch Jack in the head! He is just one of those people that has the ability to wind you up the wrong way. But we were there for the elephants, not the people.  Jack took us down to the elephant washing station where we met 'm?.....' a beautiful shy elephant who is blind in one eye - caused by being hit with a stick like the one the baby was swinging around the day before.

Jack was our guide for the morning and it soon became clear he is actually a lovely person - he just cares more about elephants than people. The sanctuary is fantastic, all the elephants are domesticated ones who have been abused, mostly because of the tourist trade - cos us tourists just love to ride an elephant! The abuse ranges from big holes in their heads, chopped off tails and tusks, damaged spines (they are not built to carry fat tourists on their backs) and malnutrition - elephants spend about 20 hrs a day eating - something they cannot do when they are trekking with tourists. Apart from feeling very ashamed the rest of the day was a dream; we watched the elephants from a distance as they played in the water, ate and generally just hung out doing elephant stuff.

After lunch we got to wash .... Wow - how lucky are we! She likes you to fill up her trunk with water and then she sprays it on the bits of her body where she wants extra washing - she also decided to give Oskar an elephant shower - he must have been a bit smelly.

Thank you so much to all the elephants at 'Elephant Valley Project' and Jack for being a star. We had the best time ever! For anyone who wants to visit or volunteer make a donation the website is: www.elie-Cambodia.org

Stash said: the elephant project was better then the elephant trek instead of riding them we made them more comfy by letting them do what they want rather then ride them giving them pain in their back. Elephants are very much like us we do not go on all fours giving people rides so neither do they, if it gives pains in our back it gives pains in theirs. I AM NINE BY THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are few more things I'de like to say before I go.

1. Humans do not rule the earth which means animals can do what ever they want.

2. Don't, I mean, don't kill animals for fun, fur, antler's, tusks and other stuff.

3. Please keep animals existing by that I mean alive until your 99 or dead.

Thank you please listen to this information every one who hunts animals

Location:Mondulkiri - Cambodia

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOCTOR

Saturday 20th November 2010. Doctor Who is bloody forty seven today! Forty seven years old!
Without Doctor Who there would be no Daleks, therefore Dalek Thay wouldn't be sat there in my wallet as we drank Angkor beer and watched the boats racing on the river, from a pub balcony in Phnom Penh town centre.
It's annual water festival time and an estimated four million people have descended on the town for a massive celebration.Even the King shows his face for this one.

We could see the Khmer people preparing for the big one a day earlier when we visited Diamond Island. This quickly became a fave of Stash and Oskar who threw darts at balloons to win rubbish prizes on stalls which filled the streets and they screamed on miniature but suprisingly very nippy roller coaster rides, big wheels and merry go rounds, loving every minute of it. Everywhere we went they seemed to have an audience of smiling, beautiful Cambodians!

After a visit to Lucky Burger, Cambodia's Mucky D, we made our way back to ' the other side' via the golden bridge that links the island to main town and that's when we hit the full beautiful chaos of the festival traffic like we'd never seen before. There was a brilliant buzz about town and we were all so excited we actually messed ourselves right there in the street.

Anyway, back to the big day, also the Doctor's big day, forty seven, Christ...as the darkness fell upon the festivities, we were treated to a magnificent fireworks display, right opposite a little place we'd chosen to eat. With the full moon as it's backdrop, the sky was bombarded with a million colourful stars, bangs and flashes for a full half an hour. Ah! You lot, I bloody love you!
Sunday, up at six to get ready to leave Golden gate hotel where we've lived for eight nights now. We say goodbye to Mr. Lady (tee hee)the splendid chap on the front desk who is on cloud nine from having recently wed his love. They were married November 7th just gone and he brought their amazing wedding album in to show us. His wife had twelve dress changes that day! He also had several. We gave him some Angkor beers that were left over in our fridge and took a tuk tuk, took a tuk tuk, took a tuk tuk.
Here begins ten hours to Mondolkiri...

Arrival Mondolkiri, now to our lovely hotel...
"Welcome to Mondolkiri, where are you staying, have you made a reservation coz everything is booked up," asks a handsome young man who later introduces himself as Tina. Everything had been sorted the day before.  I'd asked Mr.Lady to phone and reserve a room for us lot and it was all arranged, fifteen dollars a night, Television, Jacuzzi, French maids.  Unfortunately there are no tuk tuks here. Mondolkiri is sort of up in the mountains and the whole vibe is a lot more villagey than anywhere else we've been in our entire lives.  I'm looking at all these motorbikes and there are no helmets worn either and the answer to my next question is no.  There are no taxi's here.  Oh bollocks.  Now here's a bloody compromise Haj! On we get, three's up, me and Osk on one, Liz and Stash on the other.
Of course, the kids absolutely loved it, while I explained to our driver what shitting it meant in England.

The girl at the guest house hadn't reserved us a room at all. She didn't speak any English so Tina acted as go between for us.
"Who phoned and booked the room here for you?"
"Well, Mr Lady, the receptionist at our hotel in Phnom Penh did it for us yesterday"
"Mr Lady? ( pisses himself laughing. Yea, alright 'Tina') Mr. Ladyboy!!"
The girl was having none of it. No, she had told Mr. Lady we could see what was available when we turned up. Well thankyou very much honey.
Tina came up with a solution that saved the day. We could stay at his place for the night and sort out something tomorrow. There was no electricity, in fact there wasn't much of anything, but he put down a couple of mattresses and we stayed up with him chatting under the full moon.
I slept very little, convinced there was something in that house with us! There were probably lots of things in there with us. In the morning, I looked out of a back window to see Tina in the garden pulling up some sweet potatoes for our breakfast.
By 7am we were on motorbikes he'd arranged to take us to a hotel he'd sorted for us. What a star.
That night we went to check out a restaurant called Bananas, run by a Dutch lady called Tanya who was truly a bit bananas. We were greeted by her two Bulldogs, Elvis and Dita.  Tanya, a chef by trade, cooked us the best food we'd eaten in a month.  WC arrangements; " ladies over there, men piss in the garden".
Oh I like this place.  A Restaurant where you can piss in the garden.   Home from home.

Next day, whilst on an elephant trail, we learned that three hundred plus people had been crushed to death on the bridge to Diamond Island in Phnom Penh, during the final night of the boat festival celebrations.

Location:C A M B O D I A

We're all going to the zoo tomorrow

The other day we asked our tuk tuk driver to take us to The Killing Fields. He took us to Choeung Ek which is a memorial to many thousands of victims of the Khmer Rouge regime.
The first thing we see on entering,is a large white monument, a monk sitting outside handing out sticks of incense and flowers to visitors. We all take some and lay it in respect.  Everyone is completely silent.
It took a few minutes for my eyes to focus on the windows of this large Stupa - it was filled with thousands of skulls, men, women and children,sorted into ages,16 to 20, 20 to 40, 60 and above, the very old, the very, very young....

Unbelievable.

Around the site, mass graves, the site of a special killing tree for the infants, a magic tree which used to play loud noises and stuff to make the sounds of people being killed magically disappear. Oh such wonderful people we humans can be.

Next day we went on our longest tuk tuk journey yet. We wanted to visit Phnom Tamao animal sanctuary which I'd been reading up on. The centre takes in and looks after animals confiscated from traffickers or saved from traps laid by poachers. On a recent visit to my fave download shop, i had learned that they, "Rogue music", had in fact put up the money to give one of the rescued elephants a false foot after falling victim to one of these traps.
Mister tuk tuk breaks down three or four times along the way.  It made for a long old journey in that thing but he got us there.

We were taken around the sanctuary by a lady whose name I forget, though she was lovely. She's been working there as a guide for some eight years now and was headhunted for the job by a guy who we later see snogging one of the tigers. She fills us in with stories of each and every animal and how it came to be there. We're followed around for a while by some deer. There are crocodiles just the other side of a fence that seem just a little too close, Malayan Sun bears, pythons, lions, gibbons, otters, tortoise.. we saw a baby bear playing with some volunteers... it is a fantastic place and we all have a ball, even if our tuk tuk driver cuts it all a bit short saying he has to get back to another job for 4.30 and gives us a stupidly fast and bumpy hour long journey back to our hotel. Thanks mate!

Things are hotting up around here as everyone gears up for the annual water festival. It promises to get very busy. We saw a large replica of the Eiffel tower being put up a couple of days ago, lights and various stages. Should be fun.
All visa'd up now so we can continue our journey. We're out of here in two days on Sunday morning to the countryside,  I think to see some more elephants!!

GIANT HOGWEED LIVES !

Location:Phnom Tamao Wildlife Sanctuary

Boycey and Spoons

Goodbye Lazy beach! A two hour boat trip back to Sihanoukville for more Rogue iPod downloads and 75 cent hotdogs, pre six hour coach journey back to Phnom Penh and there's much reflection on the past four days. Lovely walking Chris' (governor) two dogs, Boycey and Spoons, to find the other beach on the island.

There was a huge blue and yellow boat with at least three decks,sat a little offshore and a small party of 'other' tourists enjoying the very white sand and clear blue sea.
Actually, those two black mongrels pretty much walk themselves, they don't need a lead and they seem to know their island like the backs of their paws. But wait. What's that over there in the distance? Could that be a shopping complex?

We finally got to Phnom Penh, got a Tuk Tuk through the busy streets (it's Water Festival time!) and checked into our hotel. Stash and Osk were hanging with hunger so we went and had dinner at a small but charming pizza restaurant. The owner, also small and charming, a very good chef, was fourteen years old when the shit hit the fan back in 1975. He lost his sister and his Mum.
He is now a Christian, but more importantly, knocks up amazingly tasty Chilli Salami spaghetti and Pepperoni pizza. It is seriously the best spaghetti I've ever eaten, Liz and the kids had to agree. We emptied our plates and bowls and just wanted more!!

I woke at around 2 am with a strong taste of chilli salami rising up into my throat and rushed to the bathroom to throw up. But nothing. The taste grew stronger and stronger and I started to gasp-was this the start of an ulcer or something? That rang a few bells, I hadn't drunk much and I didn't actually feel sick...
I woke to the sound of traffic and someone was slapping a mask over my face shouting,"breath sexy boy, breath!" And I was out. Over and out.
Next thing I know I'm waking up in bed next to Liz under that mosquito net in that little wooden beach bungalow, back on Lazy beach. I can hear Chris whistling Boycey and Spoons outside in the distance.  There is no escape.

Location:Another side

LAZY BITCH

...from Sihanoukville to Koh Rong Saloem

Oh that was so good.You know when you haven't had something in a very long time and you don't even realise how much you've missed it until you're reacquainted with it...
Two eggs, bacon, cremated to crispy strips, HP sauce and a crusty baguette, all washed down with a large mug of blackest coffee. Served up alongside a soundtrack of Bob Marley and soft Jazz which plays all day, this is Lazy Beach restaurant on a very lazy beach on a tiny island in Cambodia. Hosting just twelve wooden bungalows, there are no shops, there are no other bars, there is no one hassling you, there is only one boat a day out of here.
As the theme to "The Prisoner" finally stopped going round in my head, post more than slightly rough boat trip out here (hey, we're used to near death experiences anyway) there was only one thing to do. Nothing. Jack. Sweet F A .

Other than gently rocking out in a hammock, floating on a very clear sea, maybe watching out for the odd huge jellyfish and a bit of snorkelling. The kids love the rope swings along the beach, chuckle loudly as they watch movies on their iPods (downloaded for a couple of dollars from Rogue music, of course) under the safe refuge of a mosquito net...and that...is that.

(There are whispers among fellow residents of this island, that the Lazy Bitch restaurant is not the only source of food, water, beer and anything else you'd like to get your hands on, it could be that there are shops, maybe even another bar elsewhere. Many people have taken off for walks with their rucksacks on the 'banana trail' as it is known and have never returned. It is said that on finding these alternatives they are quickly rounded up and removed from the island).

Day two and the kids are bonding nicely with Luka and Molly over board games around a table at the only bar in town. Liz and I bond nicely with Pete and Jess, their parents, long into the night, joined later by Chris who runs this establishment. I wake next morning with a drawing of a dalek in the pocket of my shorts. It's pretty bad actually. It certainly wasn't me.
Nastassja, Oskar, Luka and Molly play together all day on the beach, stopping only for lunch. In the evening, upset stomach finishes me early and I miss a spectacular display of glowing plankton in the sea. Hopefully I get my chance tonight.
Early rise, the kids are straight onto the beach to join their new friends for one last time-it's back on the boat for them today, as they begin their journey all the way back to Aireys Inlet in Australia! Pete and Jess are a little worse for staying up late again last night. I'm feeling all good about myself for taking a night off, even if I didn't really have much choice.
So, the boat turns up and off they go. We wave farewell and go back to our hammocks, back to the sea, the hush of the ocean and await the next boatload of imposters to our island...

...miss you Mikki x

Location:Cambodia

...and then there was Libby

Another person we're very fond of is Libby.  Libby is a physiotherapist from Sydney and has come for a holiday to Siem Reap to offer help to victims of landline accidents at a childrens home at the Landline museum.  We met Libby one morning taking breakfast at Green town guesthouse and have since spent many an evening and various tuk tuk and boat trips together.She too became a guest at Rosy's!

Location:Earth

BLADDY TUK TUK

...no money, no honey

Ah Dolla!  Greatest tuk tuk driver and tour guide of them all, along with his friend, Same, equally charming, his loyal friend since the age of five, both temple boys, though not of robe.  They moved to Battambang from the countryside some five years ago in search of work.  Still jobless and homeless, they managed to sweet talk a monk into taking them in to a local temple for food and shelter.
This temple is located just around the corner from a circus we visited on the recommendation of Simon from Rosy Guesthouse in Siem Reap.  The night we attended was split over two acts.  All of the performers aged fifteen to eighteen were third generation Cambodian refugees who lived on site and had just returned from a tour of Germany.  They were amazing, as were the musicians who performed alongside their incredible acrobatics, pieces written by themselves. This made for a great evening which we washed down with a visit to The Ghekko bar near our hotel, Royal hotel, lovely, lovely people hotel.
Next morning, Dolla and Same took us out in a borrowed tuk tuk, on a trip that would take in the Bamboo railway and a visit to what has become known as The killing cave.

Stopping off at a crocodile farm where I'd expected to see a few baby reptilian smilers, we were guided up some metal steps to a platform which overlooked some eighty full sized, writhing, snapping crocs.  One man cleans this lot out.  Entering the pit he uses a bamboo pole to send them off to a corner should they try anything on.  This he demonstrated while Liz shouted, "it's ok, you don't have to do that for us..."
Four years ago he lost one of his dogs, who jumped the fence and tried to make playmates of them.
Next stop, Bamboo railway!!

So it's basically a bamboo raft which is lifted onto a couple of sets of train wheels.  Get on, hold on and off you go, hurtling through the Cambodian countryside, over bridges, passing fishermen, dodging hand sized butterflies...it really is brilliant fun.  Shame it will close soon.  Some Japanese company is sticking a replacement there which I'm sure will provide lots more jobs...
Dolla is great company.  This charismatic twenty five year old speaks very, very good English, always cracking jokes and laughing with Stash and Oskar.  Actually, both he and Oskar treated us to Michael Jackson impersonations as we walked around a temple surrounded by monkeys.  Remember that temple in Jungle book ruled by King Louie?
He took us to The Killing cave, which houses the remains of a thousand Cambodian men, women and children, murdered by another lot of Cambodian people who called themselves the Khmer Rouge.
This lot were very special.Among their specialities, Khmer Rouge would murder young children by grabbing hold of their ankles and swinging them against the cave walls, bashing their brains out and then throwing them into the pit below to die.  This saved bullets.  Dolla went on to say that he never knew his eldest brother as this had been his fate.
We're not talking about a few years after the dinosaurs died out and we were all in bearskins.  This kind of shit happened just over thirty years ago.  Dolla said his mother had broken down many times telling him stories of what had gone on during that period and he has made it his mission to pass it on to as many people as possible.
We all went and had some egg fried rice in silence, something of a first.

Last stop was the temple where these two friends live, sleep, eat, drink and play together.  They do seem slightly out of place among the orange robed monks, both dress in trendy casuals.  Dolla has a place outside of a monk's quarters but unfortunately it is haunted.  He was moved there recently because his last room was also haunted but he's no better off, he's got himself more company.  He says that a couple of nights ago, he and Same were out near the lake when a female spectre turned up and scared the living crap out of them.
Back at our hotel later that afternoon, we bumped into Lex and Susan who we knew from Rosy Guesthouse.  Turned out they were next door to us!  So, went out with them for dinner.  Lex, I guess now in his sixties, is a retired dentist from Australia, his wife Susan, a primary school teacher.  They are nearing the end of a six month jaunt.
Leaving today for Phnom Penh, Lex came and saw us out and the hotel receptionist gave us a gift of four silk scarves.

So it's bye bye to Lex and Susan, the lovely people at the lovely Royal hotel and farewell to Dolla and Same, whose stories both made us laugh and cry.  Teach them ghosts to sing Dolla.
BLADDY TUK TUK !!

Location:Battambang

Rosy Guesthouse

Oh boy.  What a wonderful week that was!  We got to Siem Reap about nine days ago and it was on our second venture out that we stumbled upon Rosy Guesthouse, run by a lovely couple, Simon, originally from Norwich and his good lady Rachel from Peterborough.  Both were in the throes of making a giant papier mâché spider for a Halloween themed evening a few days later.
Anyway, we booked in and a week later, no one in this Leith family really wanted to leave.  Pool table and movie shows next to the bar area,Simon's excellent music collection playing from breakfast till the last man standing, dvd player in our room and a vast collection of movies and tv series we could help ourselves to(yes!Doctor Who complete series 1 to 4!! A beautiful dog called Pickles, Branston, one of two cats, the other being Tripod who lost one of her legs when she was a day old ...and then there was Ella, their lovely daughter of 18 months.

The staff were just brilliant ("would you like one more beer?), the food was great and now I sound like I'm plugging this thing but they really have got it just right.Really helpful when you need it, never in your face, Home from Home.  Missing it already!

On the bus trip out here to Battambang I was seriously considering that if I was single, had no children or family back in England and no friends to miss,I could up and come out here to live with all these wonderful people and things out here.  But actually, think I'm still going to move to Norwich and buy a big Dalek.

Location:Siem Reap

DALEK THAY IN CAMBODIA

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Location:CAMBODIA